If I could give the younger me one piece of advice, I think it would be this: don’t lose hope. I know the world can show you just how cruel it can become. I know there will be days when you look around and wonder how people can hurt each other so easily, how something you once believed in can become something that breaks you, and how the things you thought would last can disappear without warning. But please, don’t let what the world has shown you convince you that there is nothing left for you to see.
There is still a way out. There is still another morning. There are still places you haven’t been, people you haven’t met, conversations you haven’t had, and versions of yourself you haven’t become. So don’t hurt yourself every day wishing the tide would carry you somewhere else. Sometimes the tide looks beautiful from a distance. It promises little green pastures, somewhere quieter, somewhere you can finally rest. But you have to be careful with anything that only wants to carry you somewhere until your usefulness is gone, only to discard you when there is nothing left to take.
And please remember that there are people out there who still care. You may not see them right now. You may not believe them when they tell you. You may have been hurt so many times that kindness starts to feel suspicious. But that doesn’t mean everyone is waiting for an opportunity to leave you behind. There are still people who will sit with you when you have nothing to offer them. There are still people who will choose you when choosing you gives them nothing in return.
Don’t stay around a table where you know you aren’t welcome just because someone keeps handing you an invitation. Sometimes the invitation isn’t really for you. Sometimes someone didn’t show up. Sometimes they simply don’t want to look like the bad person for leaving you out. Learn to recognise the difference. You don’t have to keep proving that you deserve a seat at a table that was never prepared for you.
Not every chase is worth finishing. Some people will keep you around until every other option has disappeared, and then they will choose you because there is nobody else left. Don’t confuse being someone’s last option with being someone’s choice. You deserve more than being useful until something better comes along. You deserve to be wanted when there are still a hundred other doors someone could walk through.
Above all, be kind to yourself. I know that sounds simple, but sometimes the person we speak to most cruelly is the person staring back at us in the mirror. Give yourself the same patience you give everyone else. It is okay to be alone. It is okay to step away. It is okay to sit with yourself and heal. Wounds take time. Scars take time. Just because you cannot see the healing happening doesn’t mean nothing is changing underneath.
And finally, don’t be afraid of your silence. Your silence can be beautiful. It can be where you think, where you breathe, where you finally hear yourself without the noise of everyone else’s expectations. But don’t let that silence become grief. Don’t let it become a place where everything you never said goes to die. Because grief left untouched for too long can become a home, and some homes are difficult to leave once you’ve lived inside them long enough.
So if you are younger than me and somehow you are reading this, I don’t know what the world has shown you yet. Maybe it has already shown you more than you ever wanted to see. Maybe you are tired. Maybe you are questioning whether there is anything left worth holding onto.
But don’t lose hope.
There is still a way out.
And maybe one day, when you look back at the person you were when you thought the story was over, you’ll realise you were only standing at the beginning of a chapter you hadn’t learned how to read yet.
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